Xmas and New Years is around the corner.

If you’re an entrepreneur or self-employed, chances are you struggle with taking any real time off. Sure, your lifestyle may allow you to “work from anywhere,” but you’re not recharging the batteries when you’re chained to your smartphone or iPad, even while sitting at the beach.

It’s never easy for a business owner to take time off. For starters, taking a week off usually means no paycheck for that time. Ouch. And more importantly, when you're a solo entrepreneur or small business owner, there’s the very practical matter of figuring out who's going to mind the shop and take care of clients in your absence.

Fortunately, with many clients and vendors also taking vacations for the holidays, the end of the year is practically the one time when it’s easy to sneak in some guilt-free and stress-free time off.

Here are a few tips to make your holiday time off as smooth as possible:

- Give advanced warning.
Everyone is expected to take time off at some point, and any reasonable client or customer shouldn’t bat an eye if you want to take a vacation, particularly on the days surrounding Christmas and New Year’s.

The key is to give clients, vendors and any other business contacts a sufficient heads up that you'll be gone. Nothing is more frustrating (and unprofessional) as talking to someone one day, then emailing them a few days later only to get an auto out-of-the-office response that he or she will be out for a week.

Give your clients and colleagues plenty of time to ask you about any paperwork, projects, invoices, etc. that they might need while you’re out. If you’re lucky enough to have a point person (who doesn’t mind working this time of year), let everyone know his or her contact information. Likewise, if you’ll be checking email or voicemail while out, let people know your parameters. Showing clients that you care about their needs upfront is the key to having a successful vacation without jeopardizing business and relationships.

- Set your 'online' expectations.
Most experts advise that you should unplug completely during your time off. However, since I rarely heed this advice myself, I’m not going to expound upon it here. Rather than leaving my Android behind altogether, I’ve found it helpful to strike a healthy balance between work and home.

For example, when I’m with family and friends, I want to be 100% present. I don’t want to check my email sneakily Christmas morning or be distracted while out catching up with friends. So, I will leave my phone or tablet aside for hours at a time, then excuse myself to catch up on work for half an hour or an hour at a time. Some entrepreneurs choose to set aside one or two hours each morning or evening for work matters.

There's no single approach that works for everyone; the key is to find what’s right for you. But remember, a critical part of any vacation is downtime — and it's hard to rest your brain when all your tech tools are demanding your constant attention.

- Focus on the big picture during downtime.
With so many businesses shutting down at the end of the year, it’s common for many entrepreneurs, particularly freelancers and contractors, to experience a slow-down in work whether they plan it or not.

If you find yourself with some quiet days or hours, make the most of that time. If you find yourself with some quiet days or hours, make the most of that time. Instead of just tending to some day-to-day work for the sake of staying busy, focus on the big picture instead. The end of the year is a perfect time to reflect on where your business has been and where it’s going. Think about what worked and what didn’t, where you can improve, which products or services were profitable, and how you can better address client needs in the coming year.

- Make sure your team has balance, too.
Remember that you're not the only one with family and friends this holiday season. If you have employees or contractors working for you, make sure that they feel comfortable and encouraged to enjoy the holidays and some down time.

That way, there will be no resentment and everyone will be ready to hit the ground running in January.

- Say 'no' if you start to feel stressed.
Being an entrepreneur is a stressful activity just on its own, without the added holiday pressure of travel plans, family get-togethers, holiday shopping, end of the year parties and more. The stress can take a toll on even the most zen person among us.

If you start feeling overwhelmed, chances are you're overcommitted and it's time to pull back. Drop a social engagement or two: It's far better to truly enjoy a few things than feel stressed and frazzled while trying to force everything in.

For your business activities, focus only on the most important items that need to be accomplished; one trick is to make a list of what needs to be done, and ask yourself which one would make the biggest difference to your business (hint: it’s not always responding to whoever is complaining the loudest).

- Don't apologize.
Most importantly, don't apologize for taking time to relax and enjoy food, drink, family and fun. A break gives our bodies and minds a chance to rebuild and refocus. You’ll come back in January with a fresh perspective, ready to take on more challenges and be more efficient than before.

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Failure-friendly

In the past 10 years, the culture around entrepreneurship has become increasingly failure-friendly. Serial entrepreneurs hop from one failed business to the next and billionaire entrepreneurs like Richard Branson wax on publicly about their failures almost as much as their successes. Still, "no one likes to fail, we are hardwired for success."

But what if you could actually use failure to help you succeed? Here are some keys to start failing your way to success:

Call failure something else.

When was the last time anyone got hired for a senior-level position without any experience? For serial entrepreneurs, "experience" is simply another word for "failure". By labeling a failed effort an opportunity to expand your knowledge base, you're framing it in a more positive light, allowing yourself to add to your credibility as a more seasoned entrepreneur.

Use failure as a stepping stone.

With every failure, identify what you know you did wrong and be conscious not to repeat your mistakes. This will bring you one step closer to success.

I've never heard a millionaire entrepreneur say they hit it right the first time out. The bigger they are, the more they've typically failed.

Never fail alone.

Entrepreneurs like to be trailblazers. But make a mistake on your own and you might have a hard time determining what went wrong. Having a partner you trust and respect can turn every failure into an opportunity for collaboration. "A good partner can help you determine what not to do again.”

Don't hide your failures.

Be proud that you were brave enough to take a risk in the first place. By being forthright about your mistakes, you open yourself up to learning from others.

Baehr's mentor, Walter Hailey, whose insurance company Lone Star Life Insurance went on to become a Kmart insurance company, used to take an hour-long walk at 5 a.m. every morning with a group of close friends to talk about ideas, successes and failures. "By the time they got back to the house, they had solutions," says Baehr. "They had a plan for the day."

Redefine what you want.

Revisit and refocus why you got into business in the first place. Look for your emotional motivators. We are emotional creatures. Logic doesn’t motivate us. Most people only half-heartedly decide they want a lot of things. You have to get really clear on what you want.. 

"The question is: How badly do YOU want it?"

Why is dialogue essential in feedback?

Giving feedback to your colleagues and employees provides them with an observer's insight into how their performance is progressing, as well as advice to solve any problems. But, for a number of people, hearing the six words, "Can I give you some feedback?" generates fear and anxiety. The words go through a translator in our brain and are heard as, "Can I completely tear you down?" It can be perceived that the person giving the feedback is somehow superior to the person receiving it, putting the receiver on the defense.

One of my dear friends Karin Ulfhielm (http://www.vargkask.se/) wrote this that I really wanted to share with you all.

For many reasons dialogue is essential in feedback. I have outlined the three most important below.

1) Our definitions and experiences of feedback differ, interpretations differ, perceptions of words differ, therefore semantics matter. My definition of a word may be completely different from yours. Our way of using language differs. Some people use a very bombastic language rich with words, while others are more cautious and modest both when it comes to the choice of words and the number of words. It is almost as if we are meant to misunderstand each other. Anyone for a dialogue?

2) We all have “blind spots”, meaning that you don’t necessarily see how your behaviour affects others. The same can be said for everyone around you. You see things in your peers that he or she may not be aware of. Thus, we affect each other in ways we are aware of, but - perhaps even more - in ways we are unaware. We need others to help us become aware of how we affect them. If we choose to act on that awareness or not, is the NEXT step. If we are not aware, we do not have the choice to take the next step. Therefore, we need to initiate dialogue in the form of reflection, active listening and clarifying questions in an elegant and tasteful mix.

3) Our defence mechanisms and “triggers” stop us from reaching the understanding of the feedback we are given. If we are only served with the attitude “I as a giver, am right and you as a receiver are wrong”, we will never get to the source of development and learning which lies in feedback from others. Hence, there has to be dialogue about how we interpret each other and how we affect and influence each other.

The big challenge lies within understanding the feedback we are given. We as givers must be aware and observant in making the feedback “recievable.”  For example, be as concrete as possible with examples on the behaviour we want to illustrate. As a receiver, control our defence mechanisms, so we - at least to begin with - actively try to understand what the feedback is really about. Dare to be curious. Dare to ask more questions. Avoid going directly to the (unconscious) interpretation that the person giving us feedback intends to harm us. Unfortunately, that reaction has been inherited from through generations and we need to be aware and work hard to go against that instinct. Choose to find out what the person giving us feedback is trying to reflect.

In a fairy tale world…

I wish that I

- in feedback situation, can stop my defence mechanisms or at least put them on hold.

- choose to see the reflection/feedback I receive as an honest attempt to help me learn and grow, so that I am able to give myself the opportunity to look at and digest it.

- would give myself the chance of understanding.

I recognize that it is easy for me to link the feedback to my earlier expectations and interpretations, confirming what I already know (or believe I  already know…). This makes it a form of self-fulfilling prophecy. Or I simply dismiss the feedback I am given, because I am convinced that the person/-s providing the feedback only wishes me harm. I do have a prerogative in the subject, haven’t I? Yes, of course I do. However, I can choose to train myself in seeing other sides of the feedback I receive. I can let myself “play” with the perspective that I might be “ALL WRONG”. What would happen then? What can I learn from that? The world is complex. With many different experiences we carry with us, our interpretations of our new experiences will differ greatly in the same situation or reminiscence - again, semantics… A conversation with a sibling or an old friend around experiences from “way back” can show how different we have interpreted events, situations or behaviours.

Is there one solution on how to become a better receiver of feedback?

I do not think there is one ultimate solution, but I believe a good starting point is to actively think of why it is so easy to receive feedback from one person and completely impossible from another? Why do we listen more to what A has to tell us, than B? How do we see ourselves? Are we inflexible, cannot change, end of story? Or, is it possible for us to look at ourselves from a more evolving perspective, where we have a chance of growth, change of approach and leave our earlier views, when we have been given the opportunity to see ourselves in a completely different light?

How can we have feedback being one of our most valuable tools in the toolbox for growth? I believe that if we strive towards a dialogue, we are half way there…!

Rock on, Karin Ulfhielm (http://www.vargkask.se/)

I want to really thank Karin for writing this above and letting me share it.

While giving and receiving feedback can be a delicate process, there's no doubting its value in helping to identify issues and solve them. Business owners should manage feedback in a positive way so that it can do what it's intended to do: Help improve and grow your business.