Welcome 2016

How time flies!

I can’t believe it’s already been a full year since…well, last year…and a year that has come FULL circle, at that, in my business life.

Where are hearts are (and passion), the money and details will follow.

That being said…this past year has NOT been a cakewalk by any means (with many, many, many, MANY lessons learned ‘the hard way’ along the way).

In fact, being an entrepreneur reminds me A LOT of my college days—days where I learned MANY lessons, equally the hard way—often outside the classroom (school of hard knocks).

Things like:

• Don’t park in no-parking zones (you will get towed)
• Don’t use hand dishwasher gel to wash your dishes in the dishwasher
• Don’t let a random sorority guys borrow your favorite clothes (you may never get it back)
• Make sure to clean out your fridge before going on a long vacation/winter break
• Don’t sign a lease on an apartment or place to live before seeing it
• Study hard, yes; but don’t get so bogged down in the books that you miss out on all the fun times in between

Similarly, entrepreneur lesson life has looked something like this:

• No two web developers are the same—and just because they have some skills you may not have, doesn’t mean they know how to develop a great site
• Ask for photographer’s portfolios before hiring them for the job
• Don’t pay a web designer $500 before he has delivered on service
• Don’t continue to work with a marketing guru who is not delivering on their services
• Collect payment from clients you see upon delivery of service if no credit card on file
• Keep learning. Growing. Sharing.
• Don’t spend all day at the computer—get out and amongst people. Network. Be social. Work and connections can happen when you are living life—doing things you love.
• Do your research before you invest in anything—systems, programs, advertising. There’s alot of little expenses that come up along the way—be savvy.
• Keep your eyes on your mission, vision, purpose.
• Speak with authenticity.
• Don’t force things. Things will work out as they should.
• Never give up…never

Man.

School of hard knocks is right!

What lessons have YOU learned as an entrepreneur in your business?

The more we can band together and share the insights we’ve learned along the way…the better we are for the wear and tear of ‘hard knocks’ of the entrepreneurial life.

Hope you have a great 2016!!

My motivation

I’ve realized how short life sometimes can be. There’s this great desire within me to see a world in my earthly lifetime in which every human has what they need to survive and thrive. After 200,000 years of human history we’ve come so close to getting there after the immense progress of the last 200 years. So if I can use my life to inspire others to push toward making every single person a entrepreneur and succeeding in life, then that is what I will work on each day. This thought motivates me to get up each day filled with energy. But i know one man cant change the world, but a group of people and minds can. And it is what makes every single moment of work seem like the most joyous moment of play.

Like a good friend of my always says "Dare to be great friend" and lets change the world together.

Do women need different support to men?

It’s amazing how a simple question can get so many people fired up. I asked this recently and it sparked a big debate. Some ladies were offended at the mere idea of requiring anything 'different' to what men do. But many felt women business owners do need a different kind of approach when it comes to business support – and I agree but keep in mind everyone is still diffrent.

Women need to share. Whether it’s the fact they don't know where to turn next, they have had a row with the kids or they can't figure out a piece of software – they prefer to ask for help and receive support.

They suffer from what I call 'mind monkeys' – those little voices in their head that tell them: "You're not good enough, you’ll never make any money, you'll never make a go of this business, what are people going to think of you...oh and by the way, you're a bad mum."

Do we men get these? If we guys do have mind monkeys then I’m sure we'd just brush them aside and get on with it. Girls, on the other hand, let it rule their life. Literally. Many women business owners have let their business fail, or have limited their business growth because of some old belief that’s hanging around in their head. Maybe their parents once told them that they weren’t good with money.  And for some reason that belief has stuck with them.  Can you imagine that stopping a male business owner? In my experience men are much better at saying 'stuff them!' and setting out to prove the doubters wrong. Women are much more likely to believe them.

They also have 'helpful' friends and family to contend with. Almost every day I hear from ladies who are doing their best to build a business – sometimes it’s just to make extra money for holidays, many others need to bring in a substantial income to pay the mortgage – and it's tough. In fact some days it's bloody hard to keep going. And it's usually on these days that a member of the family or a caring friend says something like: "Why don't you just give it up, it’s not working" or "When are you going to get a proper job." It's meant to be helpful but it’s like the kiss of death when you’re having a bad day.

What they need to hear is: "Keep going - you're doing great. All your hard work is going to pay off really soon, but it can take six months for your marketing to start bearing fruit" – because it's true. Too many women business owners are written off before they have a chance to prove themselves.  And they also don’t realise that they are listening to advice from people who don’t own their own business.  That's like asking a vegetarian what's the best way to cook a steak.

Women business owners often have to juggle home life and childcare with running a business. There are logistical implications such as only being able to work school hours if your children are small, and being restricted during school holidays. Also, if the school calls it's usually mum who has to drop everything because "her business isn't as important "as dad’s job. Now this is a sweeping generalisation but these are the things I see and hear every day.

Also women sell and buy differently to men do. So if they are following the 'old boys club' style of selling it isn't going to work.  Why? They are women. Women use completely different approaches to attracting clients, retaining and growing their customer base.  Cold-calling and aggressive sales techniques do not fit with most women entrepreneurs as well as their women clients.  So do they require different support in this very important area? Absolutely.

I really enjoy working with women business owners because they are so willing to share their successes and mistakes so that others can learn from them. They're willing to ask questions and step out of their comfort zone, with a little encouragement. And the results and rewards are truly inspiring. Some women I work with have changed dramatically over the space of a few weeks – all it took was some guidance on their business and marketing and a bucket load of peer support. Sharing where they are stuck is enough to bring forth a barrage of suggestions and ideas. Just having someone believe in you can be enough to make a difference.

I’m not saying we men don’t need these things too – it seems to me we are just not as ready to share or ask for help as women are.

With numbers of female-owned businesses dramatically on the rise, it’s more important than ever to make sure they have the support networks in place to look after these ladies who are contributing to our economy. The days of generic one-size-fits-all advice from government support agencies are over. Better, surely, to play to our strengths and help build our businesses in a way that works for them – and as women that means business advice tailored for female entrepreneurs, combined with peer support.

So do women need different support to men? Yes, I think they do, and that's OK. It's not sexist, 

demeaning or any other label you might be tempted to pin to it; it's just a fact, from a business owner who works with women business owners every day.  And if you're a female entrepreneur reading this, my advice to you is to ignore mind monkeys, 'helpful' friends and relatives, and the fact you might only have a few hours a week to spend on a business – take a calculated risk and go for it.

I can be also totaly wrong but look forwards to a debat here in linkedin on this. Have a great day all.

Love what you do. Not do what you love.

There’s a lot of advice going around online these days telling people to do what you love, follow your childhood passions, and live happily ever after.

I don’t agree with it.

I’ve been there, I’ve seen others, and it doesn’t work.

You may be passionate about basketball, but the chances of you making it to the NBA are very slim. You may love traveling, but no one is going to pay you a dime for discovering the Wall of China.

Now this isn’t a post to discourage you from following your passions to become a doctor or a lawyer. Far from it!!

I write this because I’ve learned the difference between following a dead-end passion vs. following the passions that will bring success in your life.

Your mission is to narrow down the many passions you have in life to the latter category.

Here’s the truth: you should love what you do. Not do what you love.

The difference between the two is that the latter is often unrealistic, not in demand and comprised of decisions made with emotions.

To distil it down even further, loving what you do means that you’ve developed an expertise that is in demand, where people are willing to pay for what you do.

By the way, I’m not saying being paid 45–100SEK/hour. Loving what you do means being compensated for your expertise, and demanding 10 and even 100 times that amount.

Beyond the obvious reason of why it’s important to be paid to follow your passion, is that it allows you to sustain your message.

Sustaining your message is everything when it comes to loving what you do. It takes at least three, and most often five years to gain recognition and mastery in your industry. Without a doubt, unexpected obstacles will come your way, and sometimes pure passion isn’t enough to sustain it.

By being paid for your work, you not only allow clients to value your work more, but it gives you room to make mistakes, time to master your passion, and develop a solid portfolio of testimonials and clients.

Networking works just fine!!

At a networking event not too long ago for around 100 people attending, i had to ask this question to the audiance as i was standing on the stage before my presentation, “How many of you came here hoping to do some business today, maybe even make a sale?” The overwhelming majority of the people in the audience raised their hands. Then I asked, “How many of you are here hoping to buy something today?” Not one person raised a hand.

This is what I call networking disconnect. I find it ironic that people are so “disconnected” about a process that’s intended to be about connecting people. This kind of disconnect leads to poor results, which in turn leads people to believe that networking doesn’t work. From what I’ve experienced over the past 10 years, along with the results I’ve witnessed with hundreds of thousands of people around the world -- networking works just fine!!

My advice: Do not confuse direct selling with networking. Of course, there is always someone out there who says, “But, Tomas, I’ve made sale before by attending a networking event.” I’m not saying it doesn’t ever happen, but it occurs about as often as a solar eclipse. You’re crazy if you think the odds are in your favor to “sell” at a networking event.

So why go to a networking meeting? You go because networking is more about farming than it is about hunting. Sometimes you go to increase your visibility and to connect with people you have never met. Sometimes you go to establish further credibility with people you know. And sometimes you may go to meet a long-time referral partner and do some business. In any case, the true master networkers know that networking events are about moving through the relationship process and not just about closing deals. Visibility leads to credibility which, with time and effort, leads to profitability.

In order to make your networking efforts work, you need to embrace a “relationship networking” mentality. Here are five things to remember when attending networking events:

1. Don’t go there to sell, go there to connect.
2. Have meaningful conversations with people you meet.
3. Follow up with people you found interesting or who you can help in some way. Don’t follow up to sell them something.
4. Meet these people in a one-to-one setting, learn more about them, and ask them: “how can I help you?”
5. Go for the long-term relationship, not the short sale. 

So get out there and Network

There's no question about it: Sweden loves entrepreneurs.

There's no question about it: Sweden loves entrepreneurs.

As the economy continues to struggle, an almost obsessive focus on entrepreneurs has captured the public imagination. From the press to the politicians, entrepreneurs are talked about as being the "business engine of the future." There's even a growing sentiment that of all swedes, entrepreneurs are the "most swed" -- the self-made, go-it-alone small businessmen and women carved in the image of our nation's founding fathers.

But despite the rosy picture painted in campaign speeches and magazine cover stories, an extremely high percentage of new businesses fail in the first five years. The estimates range from a low of 50 percent based on the failure of businesses approved for small business loans to a estimate of 90 percent, which includes early-stage start-ups that would be ineligible for Almi/startup loans. So if you're an entrepreneur and you feel you're in over your head, how do you know when to fold your cards? And, more importantly, what do you do next?

Signs it may be time to make an exit 
No matter how good your service or product, the demands of running your own business are great. But there are some telltale signs that "sticking it out" may no longer be your best option:

1. You're still losing money after three years
The rule of thumb of starting your own business is that you have to be prepared to lose money for at least two years. But if you're not moving into the black after three years, you should consider moving on.

2. It's taking a toll on your physical or mental health
No matter how much of a "born entrepreneur" you are, the early mornings, late nights and fast pace of running your own business can be stressful and exhausting. But if you find the stress manifesting itself in chronic sickness, anxiety or depression, you should think very carefully about whether or not the entrepreneur's lifestyle is in your long-term best interest.

3. You have an almost "allergic" reaction to being an entrepreneur
As is true with any job, some people are and some people are not temperamentally suited for entrepreneurship. If you were initially wooed to start your own business by the idea of being your own boss but find you can't stand the long hours or are continually overwhelmed by having to do everything yourself, the entrepreneur's life might not be for you.

Of course, there are no cut-and-dry answers. And because the business is your "baby," the separation anxiety associated with calling it quits is bound to be stronger than if you were just another employee handing in his resignation. But if you're unhappy and your gut is telling you it's not going to get any better, you might want to think about making your exit.

Plotting your next move
An entrepreneur who's just decided to close shop is at a career crossroads. This is especially true for people in their 50s and older. Do you take a chance and try again? Go back to an old job or industry? The answer depends on a number of factors.

Giving it another go
If you're very confident in your idea, and if you have seriously evaluated the outcome of your first business venture and believe you understand what went wrong and how to avoid the same missteps in the future, you might consider giving it another go. But remember -- it was a lot easier to be an entrepreneur before the Internet bubble burst, and between 2002 and 2007 when there was a lot of easy credit. Even if you can reduce the likelihood of failure in your second venture from the 90 percent quoted by the Economist to 60 percent, are you comfortable with that risk? And do you have the financial resources to weather a second failed enterprise? This may be of particular importance if you're thinking about retiring in the next five to 10 years.

But if you've already rolled the dice two times, should you hazard a third? Sure, for some people "third time's a charm" really does pan out. But the perpetual failure who turns into a successful entrepreneur is a rare one. And the perpetual failure who is not so beaten up that he or she will be a confident and hard-working employee is extremely rare.

Re-entering the workforce
If you're thinking about returning to a previous industry or job function, consider how your stint as an entrepreneur should influence the way you craft your career narrative for prospective employers. There are several key components to this.

First, there's a time element. How much time did you spend trying to make it on your own? If your business failed in two years, which is not uncommon for many new businesses, employers will generally view you as being easy to reincorporate into the workforce. But if you were in business for five years or more, be ready to answer questions about whether or not you are temperamentally suited to work for someone else, and whether you could be loyal to the company -- in other words, have you become too independent?

Second, how relevant was your business to your area of competence? If you are a lawyer and you left a gig as a senior associate at a law firm to become a sole proprietor with your own law firm, many prospective employers will view the move as a sign of chutzpah, and perhaps a willingness to hustle. On the other hand, if you left your position as a senior attorney to try your hand as a cupcake artisan, prospective employers might view your decision less favorably. Such a move is far afield from your core competencies, and calls into question your motives in returning to the workforce as well the commitment you will display as an employee. Are you still passionate about the field, or are you backpedalling after a failed getaway? Your career narrative may become particularly labyrinthine if the nature of your failed enterprise presents conflicts of interest with the industry you're hoping to reenter. If you just spent three years running a solar energy firm, it could be difficult winning back your position as a Chief Marketing Officer in Big Oil.

On the other hand, if you're having trouble reentering your old industry or want to try something new, you might consider exploiting your failed enterprise from a marketing point of view. For example, if you started a food company and can assess what went wrong, you might be able to market your expertise to find a position in the food industry. This could be an especially fruitful path if you have made contacts throughout the industry or in related industries. Or perhaps your stint as an entrepreneur alerted you to talents and interests that you were previously unaware of. If you quickly tired of crafting cupcakes but found you excelled at managing people or negotiating with vendors, you might talk about your business from a people perspective and try to move into a position in human resources or in contract management.

A practical approach
The bottom line is that in this volatile economy, we need to continuously evaluate our career prospects both as entrepreneurs and as a prospective employees. Certainly, there are cases of entrepreneurs striking gold. However, given the high rate of failure, it's best to be practical and to do your due diligence rather than believe every story that runs in your favorite business magazine or online franchise report.

Do you agree? 

The right reasons?

THESE DAYS entrepreneurship is buzzing so much that it’s on everybody’s lips. It seems that there has never been a time when it has been this high up on the popularity scale. 

As the successful stories make it to mainstream media, more and more people are starting to consider entrepreneurship as a way of living. But amid all of this a very important question arises: are people in it for the right reasons?????

Money: "a means, not a goal"

THE MEDIA today focus a lot on the financial value of successful entrepreneurs and how much money they have accumulated. Not to take anything away from the successful entrepreneurs, but all of it seems very overblown and over the top.

People need to have in mind that entrepreneurship is NOT a get-rich-quick scheme. I personally don’t know any successful entrepreneur who started his business because he wanted to be rich. The sole reason why they are successful is because they went into something they were passionate about from the beginning and because they wanted to MAKE a difference.

"Dedication’s what you need"

ENTREPRENEURSHIP might seem fun and challenging when looking in from the outside, but once you get into the game, you have to be prepared for long days, hard work and the constant frustration associated with building a business. 

Even though advances have been made in technology, one thing hasn’t changed and that is the amount of passion and discipline required to make ends meet. 
Friends and family are great supporters, but people need to understand that the energy must still come from within if they want to succeed. 

"The harsh TRUTH"

Being an entrepreneur is hard. It’s not a get-rich-quick scheme and not everybody is cut out for it. It’s a very specific way of living that requires a lot of sacrifice, and the sooner people realise this the better.

The world doesn’t need more wantrepreneurs who are in it for the excitement. Instead, it needs more passionate souls who truly want to make a difference.

Do you agree or disagree?

Friends or Employees

Can bosses be friends with their employees? When I started my business at 18, I didn’t think about it. Since then, my opinion has been shaped and battered through 18 years of torture, disappointment, disbelief, inspiration, support and appreciation.

I now have made over 210 employees, many of whom have been with me for more than 5 years. But do I consider them my friends? Sure, some. I would certainly say I am on friendly terms with all of them. Some owners call their employees their family. Is that better or worse than calling them friends? I guess it depends on how you feel about your family!

Until last week, I thought I had this all figured out. I had come to the conclusion that you can be friends with some of your employees — but not at the expense of being the boss. It has to be boss first, friend second. It is just like being a parent i would quese. Parent first, friend second.

But many employees don’t really need a boss. Yes, they may still need mentoring, and they may still make mistakes (just like the boss). But they take responsibility and try to do the right thing. They can be trusted. They look out for the best interest of the company. They work with you, not for you. They don’t need a boss in the worst sense of the word.

I am sure there are many business owners who would say that some of their employees are their best friends, and I am equally sure that many business owners would say you cannot be friends with your employees. So what is the right answer?

As I said, my thinking on this was jolted last week. I was talking to my old production manager, Stefan, who has been with me for almost 5 years, through a recession, two business moves, probably 60 employees, and the numerous ups and downs of business. Together, we have figured out how to run a responsible, well run business. 

In the middle of a conversation about business and friends, he stated that he didn’t have any friends at work. I was taken back. Here is part of the conversation:

Me: Stefan, do you consider me your friend?
Stefan: No, you are my mentor.
Me: Do you think I care about your well-being?
Stefan: Absolutely.
Me: Do you think I would help you out if you had a problem?
Stefan: Sure.
Me: Isn’t that what a friend is?
Stefan: If I left the job earlier, would you keep in touch with me?
Me: Probably not.
Stefan: Then you are not my friend!
Me: But if you stopped by to say hello, I would be friendly!
Stefan: Would you help me move?
Me: No. You’ve got me there. All right, maybe I am not your friend. But I feel a little bad about that.
Stefan: Sorry. I decided a long time ago not to be friends with the people I work with. I’ve been burned in the past.
Me: Can I be your business friend?
Stefan: Hmm. Let me get back to you on that.

It is about a 25-minute drive from stockhom to my house, and I thought about it all the way back. I came to this conclusion: The answer depends largely on what your definition of a friend is. Sure, there might be a difference between a business friend and a lifelong friend. But in my case, I have numerous people who fit into both categories. And that makes me very happy and fortunate. Personally, I cannot imagine spending 50 some hours a week, dealing with the joys of victory and the agony of defeat, by myself.

On second thought, I don’t have to imagine it. For many years, I had employees, but in reality I was totally alone. It was brutal, especially because I was still trying to figure out what I was doing. Now I am surrounded by an organization, including about nine or 10 people who I would consider my friends. And as friends, or as valuable employees, they tell me when I am wrong. You might say they are the opposite of yes men.

And one last thing to Stefan: You are my friend, whether you like it or not. :)

So what are your employees to you? What is your boss to you?

Xmas and New Years is around the corner.

If you’re an entrepreneur or self-employed, chances are you struggle with taking any real time off. Sure, your lifestyle may allow you to “work from anywhere,” but you’re not recharging the batteries when you’re chained to your smartphone or iPad, even while sitting at the beach.

It’s never easy for a business owner to take time off. For starters, taking a week off usually means no paycheck for that time. Ouch. And more importantly, when you're a solo entrepreneur or small business owner, there’s the very practical matter of figuring out who's going to mind the shop and take care of clients in your absence.

Fortunately, with many clients and vendors also taking vacations for the holidays, the end of the year is practically the one time when it’s easy to sneak in some guilt-free and stress-free time off.

Here are a few tips to make your holiday time off as smooth as possible:

- Give advanced warning.
Everyone is expected to take time off at some point, and any reasonable client or customer shouldn’t bat an eye if you want to take a vacation, particularly on the days surrounding Christmas and New Year’s.

The key is to give clients, vendors and any other business contacts a sufficient heads up that you'll be gone. Nothing is more frustrating (and unprofessional) as talking to someone one day, then emailing them a few days later only to get an auto out-of-the-office response that he or she will be out for a week.

Give your clients and colleagues plenty of time to ask you about any paperwork, projects, invoices, etc. that they might need while you’re out. If you’re lucky enough to have a point person (who doesn’t mind working this time of year), let everyone know his or her contact information. Likewise, if you’ll be checking email or voicemail while out, let people know your parameters. Showing clients that you care about their needs upfront is the key to having a successful vacation without jeopardizing business and relationships.

- Set your 'online' expectations.
Most experts advise that you should unplug completely during your time off. However, since I rarely heed this advice myself, I’m not going to expound upon it here. Rather than leaving my Android behind altogether, I’ve found it helpful to strike a healthy balance between work and home.

For example, when I’m with family and friends, I want to be 100% present. I don’t want to check my email sneakily Christmas morning or be distracted while out catching up with friends. So, I will leave my phone or tablet aside for hours at a time, then excuse myself to catch up on work for half an hour or an hour at a time. Some entrepreneurs choose to set aside one or two hours each morning or evening for work matters.

There's no single approach that works for everyone; the key is to find what’s right for you. But remember, a critical part of any vacation is downtime — and it's hard to rest your brain when all your tech tools are demanding your constant attention.

- Focus on the big picture during downtime.
With so many businesses shutting down at the end of the year, it’s common for many entrepreneurs, particularly freelancers and contractors, to experience a slow-down in work whether they plan it or not.

If you find yourself with some quiet days or hours, make the most of that time. If you find yourself with some quiet days or hours, make the most of that time. Instead of just tending to some day-to-day work for the sake of staying busy, focus on the big picture instead. The end of the year is a perfect time to reflect on where your business has been and where it’s going. Think about what worked and what didn’t, where you can improve, which products or services were profitable, and how you can better address client needs in the coming year.

- Make sure your team has balance, too.
Remember that you're not the only one with family and friends this holiday season. If you have employees or contractors working for you, make sure that they feel comfortable and encouraged to enjoy the holidays and some down time.

That way, there will be no resentment and everyone will be ready to hit the ground running in January.

- Say 'no' if you start to feel stressed.
Being an entrepreneur is a stressful activity just on its own, without the added holiday pressure of travel plans, family get-togethers, holiday shopping, end of the year parties and more. The stress can take a toll on even the most zen person among us.

If you start feeling overwhelmed, chances are you're overcommitted and it's time to pull back. Drop a social engagement or two: It's far better to truly enjoy a few things than feel stressed and frazzled while trying to force everything in.

For your business activities, focus only on the most important items that need to be accomplished; one trick is to make a list of what needs to be done, and ask yourself which one would make the biggest difference to your business (hint: it’s not always responding to whoever is complaining the loudest).

- Don't apologize.
Most importantly, don't apologize for taking time to relax and enjoy food, drink, family and fun. A break gives our bodies and minds a chance to rebuild and refocus. You’ll come back in January with a fresh perspective, ready to take on more challenges and be more efficient than before.

Have something to add to this story? Share it in linkedin.

Failure-friendly

In the past 10 years, the culture around entrepreneurship has become increasingly failure-friendly. Serial entrepreneurs hop from one failed business to the next and billionaire entrepreneurs like Richard Branson wax on publicly about their failures almost as much as their successes. Still, "no one likes to fail, we are hardwired for success."

But what if you could actually use failure to help you succeed? Here are some keys to start failing your way to success:

Call failure something else.

When was the last time anyone got hired for a senior-level position without any experience? For serial entrepreneurs, "experience" is simply another word for "failure". By labeling a failed effort an opportunity to expand your knowledge base, you're framing it in a more positive light, allowing yourself to add to your credibility as a more seasoned entrepreneur.

Use failure as a stepping stone.

With every failure, identify what you know you did wrong and be conscious not to repeat your mistakes. This will bring you one step closer to success.

I've never heard a millionaire entrepreneur say they hit it right the first time out. The bigger they are, the more they've typically failed.

Never fail alone.

Entrepreneurs like to be trailblazers. But make a mistake on your own and you might have a hard time determining what went wrong. Having a partner you trust and respect can turn every failure into an opportunity for collaboration. "A good partner can help you determine what not to do again.”

Don't hide your failures.

Be proud that you were brave enough to take a risk in the first place. By being forthright about your mistakes, you open yourself up to learning from others.

Baehr's mentor, Walter Hailey, whose insurance company Lone Star Life Insurance went on to become a Kmart insurance company, used to take an hour-long walk at 5 a.m. every morning with a group of close friends to talk about ideas, successes and failures. "By the time they got back to the house, they had solutions," says Baehr. "They had a plan for the day."

Redefine what you want.

Revisit and refocus why you got into business in the first place. Look for your emotional motivators. We are emotional creatures. Logic doesn’t motivate us. Most people only half-heartedly decide they want a lot of things. You have to get really clear on what you want.. 

"The question is: How badly do YOU want it?"

Why is dialogue essential in feedback?

Giving feedback to your colleagues and employees provides them with an observer's insight into how their performance is progressing, as well as advice to solve any problems. But, for a number of people, hearing the six words, "Can I give you some feedback?" generates fear and anxiety. The words go through a translator in our brain and are heard as, "Can I completely tear you down?" It can be perceived that the person giving the feedback is somehow superior to the person receiving it, putting the receiver on the defense.

One of my dear friends Karin Ulfhielm (http://www.vargkask.se/) wrote this that I really wanted to share with you all.

For many reasons dialogue is essential in feedback. I have outlined the three most important below.

1) Our definitions and experiences of feedback differ, interpretations differ, perceptions of words differ, therefore semantics matter. My definition of a word may be completely different from yours. Our way of using language differs. Some people use a very bombastic language rich with words, while others are more cautious and modest both when it comes to the choice of words and the number of words. It is almost as if we are meant to misunderstand each other. Anyone for a dialogue?

2) We all have “blind spots”, meaning that you don’t necessarily see how your behaviour affects others. The same can be said for everyone around you. You see things in your peers that he or she may not be aware of. Thus, we affect each other in ways we are aware of, but - perhaps even more - in ways we are unaware. We need others to help us become aware of how we affect them. If we choose to act on that awareness or not, is the NEXT step. If we are not aware, we do not have the choice to take the next step. Therefore, we need to initiate dialogue in the form of reflection, active listening and clarifying questions in an elegant and tasteful mix.

3) Our defence mechanisms and “triggers” stop us from reaching the understanding of the feedback we are given. If we are only served with the attitude “I as a giver, am right and you as a receiver are wrong”, we will never get to the source of development and learning which lies in feedback from others. Hence, there has to be dialogue about how we interpret each other and how we affect and influence each other.

The big challenge lies within understanding the feedback we are given. We as givers must be aware and observant in making the feedback “recievable.”  For example, be as concrete as possible with examples on the behaviour we want to illustrate. As a receiver, control our defence mechanisms, so we - at least to begin with - actively try to understand what the feedback is really about. Dare to be curious. Dare to ask more questions. Avoid going directly to the (unconscious) interpretation that the person giving us feedback intends to harm us. Unfortunately, that reaction has been inherited from through generations and we need to be aware and work hard to go against that instinct. Choose to find out what the person giving us feedback is trying to reflect.

In a fairy tale world…

I wish that I

- in feedback situation, can stop my defence mechanisms or at least put them on hold.

- choose to see the reflection/feedback I receive as an honest attempt to help me learn and grow, so that I am able to give myself the opportunity to look at and digest it.

- would give myself the chance of understanding.

I recognize that it is easy for me to link the feedback to my earlier expectations and interpretations, confirming what I already know (or believe I  already know…). This makes it a form of self-fulfilling prophecy. Or I simply dismiss the feedback I am given, because I am convinced that the person/-s providing the feedback only wishes me harm. I do have a prerogative in the subject, haven’t I? Yes, of course I do. However, I can choose to train myself in seeing other sides of the feedback I receive. I can let myself “play” with the perspective that I might be “ALL WRONG”. What would happen then? What can I learn from that? The world is complex. With many different experiences we carry with us, our interpretations of our new experiences will differ greatly in the same situation or reminiscence - again, semantics… A conversation with a sibling or an old friend around experiences from “way back” can show how different we have interpreted events, situations or behaviours.

Is there one solution on how to become a better receiver of feedback?

I do not think there is one ultimate solution, but I believe a good starting point is to actively think of why it is so easy to receive feedback from one person and completely impossible from another? Why do we listen more to what A has to tell us, than B? How do we see ourselves? Are we inflexible, cannot change, end of story? Or, is it possible for us to look at ourselves from a more evolving perspective, where we have a chance of growth, change of approach and leave our earlier views, when we have been given the opportunity to see ourselves in a completely different light?

How can we have feedback being one of our most valuable tools in the toolbox for growth? I believe that if we strive towards a dialogue, we are half way there…!

Rock on, Karin Ulfhielm (http://www.vargkask.se/)

I want to really thank Karin for writing this above and letting me share it.

While giving and receiving feedback can be a delicate process, there's no doubting its value in helping to identify issues and solve them. Business owners should manage feedback in a positive way so that it can do what it's intended to do: Help improve and grow your business.

Fear is your friend !

Fear and self-doubt plague all of us. To the degree you can overcome your insecurities, you will experience freedom to be yourself and reach your full potential as an entrepreneur. The most important thing to understand is that everyone experiences these scary emotions to some degree, regardless of how confident and self-assured people may seem.

After I made a recent presentation at a Government Office, an audience member asked me, "How do you become so self-assured and confident?" I responded: "How do you know I am self-confident? The truth is you don't know what I am experiencing inside, only I know that. You have the impression that I am self-assured and confident, but you don't know that for sure."

We continued to talk about the importance of confidence versus fear, and I left the presentation alarmed over how big this issue is. Because I have witnessed so many individuals who stop themselves from ever getting started because of that tormenting self-doubt, I decided to write down the things I do to handle it. Follow these five tips when fear and insecurity strike:

1. Don't forget that it's normal. When you are fearful or insecure, remind yourself that you're simply feeling what most other people experience. You are probably doing something that is new for you or that you are excited about. Fear is a normal feeling, and I would be more concerned if you didn't experience it.

2. Fill your calendar. The busier I stay, the more confident I am. Never allow too much white space on your calendar and you will not experience fear. I tell people, "If you want to meet the devil, just have too much free time on your hands." Doubt loves the person with lots of time for thinking about himself and stirring up negative feelings.

3. Embrace fear. For me, fear has become the indicator of the things I actually need to and must do--and that have had the greatest payoff. Do what you are scared to do and watch your confidence grow. I am not suggesting you need to take physical risks, but that you should make the call you are most scared of. Regardless of the results, you will walk away inspired that you did it rather than thinking less of yourself for not taking action.

4. Go beyond your comfort zones.Very successful people don't seek comfort; they seek success and are willing to do what is most uncomfortable. But most of the world is seeking comfort and familiarity, which are traps that cause you to settle for the mediocre. If you want to get to the next level of your business, you've got to be comfortable being uncomfortable.

5. Take '10X' Actions. Albert Einstein said imagination is more important than knowledge, but I will take massive action over either. I am not the smartest guy or the most creative, but I assure you that if I operate at activity levels 10 times my competition, I will dominate. I never use the word "action" in the singular because I have never found one action to be effective enough that it didn't require a follow up. Multiply whatever you think is required by 10 and become a machine of action. If you do that, I assure you that your fear will subside.

Look forwards to your Comments in linkedin. 

Challenge yourself

Sometimes our commitment to the ways things are overshadows good decision making. Maybe it’s the whole ‘devil you know is better than the devil you don’t’ kind of thinking. Or maybe it’s that even good change can be annoying and distracting. In any case, this tendency can be particularly dangerous for those of us who work for ourselves. We don’t have bosses or organizations to pressure us into changing our outdated or nonsensical ways. We are in charge – for better and for worse.

In order to challenge myself and keep my own bad habits in line, I came up with this list of tough questions:

1: If you could wave a magic wand to instantly fix three things in your business, what would they be?(be honest, don’t just say “get more clients”…what do you KNOW is broken)
* What prevents you from fixing these things on your own?

2: What three things would you stop doing for the business if you didn’t have to?
* Why don’t you? What would make doing them better?

3: What are you doing only because you feel like you “should”?
* What would happen if you didn’t?

4: What important thing do you never seem to have “time for”?
* Why? What makes it hard to prioritize?

5: What have you given up for your business or to be an entrepreneur?
* Are you OK with that sacrifice?

Surprisingly as painful as it can be to sit with these questions (and their answers) this exercise has led to some really wonderful changes and improvements that have brought me great satisfaction.
Did this help you? Was it painful to ask this question to yourself? when was the last time you asked yourself this?

Why why keep on going!

Like most people, some mornings I wake up and feel less than enthusiastic about working. Sometimes, this feeling doesn’t stem from laziness or apathy, it’s a stronger power, a sense of futility and helplessness.

I know a lot of people look to my story of success as a source of inspiration and that is one of the greatest benefits I enjoy when i do blog or talk about it, but –  I’m not afraid to admit it – I don’t always feel energized to pursue business and sometimes in my darkest moments, I even consider throwing in the towel.

This feeling is not so common for me now as I have lifestyle flexibility and a better mindset about work, but earlier on, it definitely was a problem. I want to explain how I overcome these moments (and still do the same thing now on occasion) to stay on track and how you can even have a productive day when you are not really feeling the mojo on the inside.

I expect you have felt similar feelings of despair or a lack of motivation at different stages of your business development, especially if you are yet to establish an income stream online that is sufficient for you to live off, or if you are right at the beginning and you have not seen one cent of return for the work you have put in.

Depending on your world view and personality style, when you hear of the success of others you may either feel inspired or dejected, and while it’s obviously more fruitful to look at other people achieving what you desire as motivation, as a fallible human, jealousy, depression and anger may be your initial responses.

Your mind is your greatest asset for success in business, but it can be just as strong a force of hindrance, sabotaging your efforts, destroying your work ethic and leaving you with no option but to return to the soul destroying job you promised yourself that you would never go back to.

How To Work When You Don’t Feel Like It

One of the characteristics I believe is at the heart of my success and the success of most entrepreneurs, is an ability to keep working in the face of failure and an ability to force yourself to be productive when you don’t feel like it.

I remember a time promoting one of my businesses, walking around the city and placing posters on boards, experiencing a feeling of impatience, a lack of confidence and a constant inner-questioning of whether what I was doing was a waste of time or not.

It’s very hard to be confident of success when you have yet to seriously experience it. In many ways, at this stage of your business career, faith and fake-it-till-you-make-it confidence in your idea has to carry you through the self doubt, the set-backs and the slow growth.

Nothing goes right all the time. Sometimes clients will ask for refunds, or they won’t be happy with what you provide or the universe creates a circumstance you had no way of predicting, which you just have to deal with.

For you beginners out there, one of the greatest challenges you face is your battle with self doubt. Others around you will scoff at your attempt to buck the trend to start a business, your own results will come slowly and for a long time you will have to work every day for little reward. Patience and willpower are necessary at this stage.

Placing posters around the city was an effective marketing method, but the return on investment was delayed. I put up a poster and it would not elicit a response for months – sometimes even years – so my “pay off” for hard work was far in the future. This meant that I had to believe that clients would come if I just kept at it for long enough.

In hindsight faith in an outcome is easy because the experience is had, before this, you’re playing with chance and believing in the possibility of success without tasting it. If you don’t have tolerance for ambiguity, you better avoid the entrepreneur’s journey.

What Can You Create Today?

One of the things I did and still do whenever I feel less than enthusiastic is to focus on output, rather than the external elements that bring me down. I might feel utterly crushed, but I know if I create something or take any productive action, I continue towards my goals.

The great thing about output is the power it has over your mood. Negative emotion breeds negative actions – lying in your bed or watching TV for example – or a lack of any action at all. If you focus on creating something and just take one little forward step, the physical effort you exert effects your inner emotional state. Your ability to soldier on in the face of emotional dissonance can carry you through the darkness and return you to a state of congruent activity and thought.

What you should give up on?

 “Success.” I wasn’t able to quit my job until I gave up on the vague ideas I had about success. Stuff like having a good job and making a good salary. I remember saying to myself: it’s possible that nobody will ever think you are successful.

When my answer was finally “screw it,” I quit. At the time I did not realize how fulfilling it would be to work directly with customers and products I was passionate about.

Over-worrying about screwing up people’s lives (or being perfect for your customers). If you try to make meaningful change with your business, you will create collateral damage. Period. Even relatively benign assertions like: “if you want to make some extra money on the side, try building some niche sites” can waste a year of somebody’s spare time. I’ve seen it happen. Seems harmless, eh?

Your desire to make money. This might be different for other professions, but for entrepreneurs, money focus can destroy businesses. Money forces you to compromise your values, which should be at the core of great products and company cultures.

A money focus inspires short-sightedness. If you could just do something and ::: BOOM! ::: make money from it, it wouldn’t be that valuable. Entrepreneurs focus onvalue. Specific, elusive, unseen– it can’t be bought and sold on the open market.

Have you ever spoken to full time investors in financial markets? These are generally people 100% motivated by money. Ask them “if you had a great year, what percentage would you make on your money?” You’ll hear answers ranging from 11 to 20 percent, generally. Now ask the same question to an entrepreneur. 20% would very much be on the low end.

Your desire to avoid feeling like an idiot. A couple years ago I set up a writer’s mastermind group (which has been hugely useful to me). We’ve all tried to address this issue of “feeling stupid” head on. It’s been liberating to post half-baked, ambitious projects in our group chat.

I put a lot of stuff out there, and I suspect most of it doesn’t work. I’m dumb and dangerous, and that’s probably the way it goes for many entrepreneurs. The punchline is that the small percentage of good stuff that sticks around and gets refined, re-worked, and cultivated. One day you wake up with something great. 

Your fear of change. I was listening to another entrepenur who made a point. Let’s call it the “paleo theory of fear.” His point: we are wired to fear change. I suppose that’s because back in the good old days, when things changed, you died. Now, not so much. Learning how to both enjoy and engineer change is the foundation of business success. I’ve found that over the years the idea of re-working everything becomes more thrilling and I seek change out.

What you are doing right now. Something popped into my head the other day as my good friend and I was talking after a seminar.  We were talking about different thing and i said “why do business owners find it so difficult to relinquish control and let other people run their business?”

My response got us laughing: “they aren’t having a hard time relinquishing control, they are having a hard time finding something better to do.”

9 times out of 10 that’s true. It’s one of the things I love about creative pursuits in general– you are always at square one. You are always in danger of utter failure. Where you play, there isn’t any sure thing. It’s the same with writing and entrepreneurship. Falling back on your cash flows is the same thing as falling back on a job. Often I’ll fail, but I’m always looking for ways to move on and find something more important to do. Hopefully I can backfill the space I create with processes and team members.

Your self-focus. Or: putting your immediate needs in front of the principle or the project.  This is the part of the post where I diverge from the hoards of broke-ass personal development bloggers telling you to express yourself more fully or follow passion and stuff like that. Yes, I’m all about that. But we are talking about being Samurai’s here– it’s tough to stay focused on meaningful projects when our passion for Youtube lurks! Entrepreneurship is a strange mix of personal drive and egoless ear-to-the-ground care. It’s a dichotomy I’m fascinated by.

Following the advice of others. Have I ever ever mentioned the sharks or the dolphins thing on this blog? Sharks and dolphins are two different types of entrepreneurs. There’s a lot of things that distinguish them. Here’s one: dolphins listen to advice, sharks watch it. Be a shark. Or rather, watch me to tell you to be a shark.

Your desire to avoid conflict. For all the kumbaya talk in the blogosphere, you’ll notice that when you meet-up with some of your favorite peace, love, and change bloggers that they’ve got some teeth. I’ve met some of the kindest online personas (and most popular) on the planet, and despite what you see online, they are very often the object of controversy, conflict, extortion attempts, petty attacks, and outright jealousy.

Get in line. It’s par for the course. Asserting yourself in the world means you’ll have detractors. Some of them might even be those closest to you. It’s okay. I try to be thankful for the attention in the first place, pick the places I ought to improve, and try to understand precisely which elements of the feedback are about my projects and which are really a reflection of their own ideas about themselves.

So... 

Bear in mind I’m not promoting BLIND faith, merely consistent effort based on a solid belief in an outcome.

There is a point where you need to take stock of progress and make changes or even quit altogether. Unfortunately most people take the exit door all too early and this lack of action merely reinforces the already prevalent lack of results.

It’s not rocket science, but as moody and imperfect human beings, there is a challenge to overcome oneself. This is, and always will be, your greatest challenge in life.

If you truly want to realize an outcome and taste success, then you must complete the necessary steps to get there. Not some of them and not just during your best days. This needs to be congruent and forceful effort regardless of external circumstances or internal turmoil.

Why not go take some action right now?